budget budget, who's got the budget

Through all the glory and beauty of a wedding, there is one insidious issue that, although we would like to forget it, keeps cropping up. Money. Payments to vendors. Dress and Suit purchases. Gifts for wedding party, gifts for parents, gifts for each other. Plane tickets, resort stays, food, drinks, activities. A wedding, and the commonly-surrounding events (i.e., bridal showers, engagement parties, honeymoons, etc.), costs a lot. No matter how you slice it, or how cheaply you try to do it, and no matter how wealthy you (or, if you’re lucky, your contributing parental or familiar units) are, most families feel some burden from the financial obligation of a wedding. And, if there is one thing I’ve learned through helping others plan weddings, it is that almost everyone, almost always, goes over budget. I’m not a huge fan of the phrase “over budget,” primarily because it seems to indicate that at one point, there was a plan to be ‘under’ or ‘at’ budget, and someone failed at that plan. Ew. I like to avoid the feeling of failure whenever possible. So instead, I propose that we give that situation a different name. For example, instead of saying “Yes, we’re over budget on our wedding,” perhaps people could say, “We decided to spend a bit more than we originally planned so that we could have the things that we want on our wedding day.” Doesn’t that sound more mature and reasonable?

I look at it this way: the only things that get in the way of sticking to one’s budget are one’s desires (or two’s desires, so to speak). If a bride or groom desires to have things in the wedding that are outside of the budget, a conscious decision is made to either pursue that desire, or not to pursue that desire. There are no accidents in wedding budgets (unless of course a vendor is dishonest with you, or you do not read the fine print in a contract), and if anyone tells you otherwise, they’re lying - because they too do not want to feel the failure that comes with having to admit that they have gone “over budget.”

Budget Customized Stationery

As most of you know (and some may not), I am a crazy-obsessed-online-bargain-shopper. I blame the fact that I am trained as a researcher, but truly, I have a difficult time spending hard-earned money on a product that I know (or believe) can be bought anywhere for less. While this principle does not always apply, I do try to examine and often exhaust my options before making a final purchasing decision.


One Example: I tried on wedding gowns at 3 different salons over a 2-month period, including one stop at the Brides Against Breast Cancer charity event in Denver. With the wedding so far away, I didn't feel pressured to buy anything during those visits. However, when we decided to have our wedding in Mexico, I looked back through the hordes of photos we took at each salon and found the dress that I loved, but felt was too 'beachy' for our original wedding idea (Hollywood Movie Premiere). In a random chance of luck, I found said dress on Ebay. It isn't overly romantic to buy one's dress from Ebay, seller of all things (including used underwear...ew...) but it was 50% cheaper than I found at the local store. It was my size, my color, and just so happened to be located at a bridal salon in Arizona - where we still have many friends. I emailed the seller, asked if my friend could come and look at the dress - they said yes, and she did - it was in perfect condition, a floor sample they wanted to sell - they pressed the dress, boxed it ever so carefully (including the optional straps and extra buttons), and sent it to me in just 4 days time. A completely insane experience, but am I glad I got this dress for 50% off? Hecks yess.


In a similar fashion, when it was time to send out Save the Dates (STDs), I chose to work with my ever-reliable holiday card printing source - Vistaprint.com. They made our 60 cards and 60 magnets for only $30, and did a great job. Until a few days ago, I was dead set against using them for our formal invitations, mainly because they do not carry thick enough cardstock/paper to suit my requirements for the wedding invitations that I thought I needed. The past few days have brought some reflection to this notion, and I have started to change my mind about using Vistaprint for our invitations. Not only can I make the invitation exactly what I want (with some limitations, paper weight and font choices being two of them), they will cost a fraction of what other 'wedding invitation' printers charge. And after all, a wedding invitation is an announcement of your wedding - something that most people will eventually throw in the trash (save for moms and other sentimental friends). Most couples have wedding websites, and have used Save the Dates to announce their big days, minimizing the traditional purpose of the wedding invitation. Plus, if I can spend $80 as opposed to $280, why wouldn't I put the money toward something that is part of the experience in the day itself, such as a live band, cooler OOT bag gifts for the guests, or even part of another night for the honeymoon? I suppose it's a matter of priorities, and I feel mine changing somewhat constantly since this whole thing started. I'm torn between "I will have no regrets and will have what I want" and "It's just one day!" Has anyone else experienced this, and if so, what did you do to sort it out?


Here is an example of an invitation I made on Vistaprint - see the "Coral" invitations below from whiteaisle.com for a comparison (and about 3 times the cost).